Research Paper, Indiana Jones and McDonald’s
My paper was due at 3:30 yesterday. I opted not to pull an all-nighter the night before, since I was really fatigued, and just didn’t see much production coming out of an all-nighter. I went to bed at 11 and got up at 5 and wrote my little heart out. Still, by 8 or 9 I could see that even if I filled the word quota (4000 words), I still wasn’t going to have resources plugged in/proofreading/bibliography etc…
Perfectionism can been so debilitating to me. Sigh.
Anyway, it dawned on me that I just needed to talk to the MA director. To my classmates I termed it as admitting defeat.
I went to her, and told her that despite my best efforts, I was not going to meet the deadline, and what were my options, should I turn it in as-is or keep working for a day or two longer? She gave me two more days. Big sigh of relief. I really do wonder sometimes why the papers don’t just get magically easier for me the more I do it, but I suppose admitting our weaknesses really can become our strengths, or at least, I’m able to come away with this with a moral/lesson, which, ironically is one I thought I’d already learned. The moral is that when you don’t meet a goal, and you are accountable to others, it is better to stay in communication and not just hide out. Most people I know would probably miss a deadline and then go to the professor and ask for mercy. I have found that when I go to professors before the crisis, (even though it’s SO hard for me to say “I just can’t do this”), it has always turned out JUST FINE in the end. I still had to put together a presentation for our MA lecture yesterday evening, too…so I went back and put together the presentation, and after an evening class that went 40 min overtime because of the presentations, we “bookies” dashed off to see Indiana Jones, which I think was a much needed break for me after so many days of seriousness strung together and a missed camping trip… I’m plugging along on the essay today, and will have something I can at least feel ok about to turn in tomorrow.
I am lamenting a full week of lost workshop time. Oh well, I’m trying my best.
Before the movie, we dashed into McDonald’s, since we had to skip dinner in order to make it to the movie on time. My McFlurry with smarties was delicious and the only ice cream I’d had in ages (made my teeth cold!), and the fries were nummy…but the bacon cheeseburger was probably the most repulsive thing I have eaten in a long long time. Perhaps it was to help me stop complaining about West Dean food (ID informs me that they had burgers last night–D’oh!), It’s difficult to describe just why it was so disgusting, but I think it had something to do with the fact that the the texture of the whole thing was slightly plastic–much more dense than I think a burger should be, and the bacon tasted positively stale…so did the bun, for that matter…and uh. yeah. I hadn’t had a McDonald’s burger in years. And the place was packed… Maybe their more deluxe burgers are good? And their sandwiches are okay, aren’t they? (I really just don’t frequent McDonalds except for an occasional McFlurry, so I just don’t know the answer!) I just don’t get it–the appeal. I really don’t. Ok–I know. Now you’re all asking, “then why did you even eat it?” For one thing, I was hungry. But more so, I think it was kind of like when you rent those lousy-plot/production flims…and even though it starts out just awful you keep watching, because it has to get better, right? But you reach the middle, and it’s still awful. Still, there’s some part of you that just keeps thinking or hoping that maybe it’s not really as bad as you think it is…it’s just got to redeem itself at some point. The next thing you know, the movie is over, the whole thing was rubbish, it never did get any better, and you’re wishing you could have those two hours back. I think this is what happened with the McBaconCheeseburger. To my merit, though, I stuffed the last huge bite into my mouth in a get-this-over-with style, and after a couple chews decided it just wasn’t worth it…and discreetly ejected it into my bag.
(While this is not the actual “burger” I ate, I do believe that it is a fairly accurate representation.)
Laurie, I’m really sorry about the two disgusting posts in a row. I’ll try to make the next one much more palatable.
Next Monday we’re off to Dublin for a few days!